Here's my update:
Oh, how the words of one person can send me into a wee frenzy of paranoia and worry! Can you relate?
I had my monthly blood work in early January, and thanks to the modernization of all things, our test results can now be accessed online if you sign up for it, which I did. While on the gorgeous BC coast attending a birth of a close friend (a brilliant, wonderful, expansive experience to say the least for which I am eternally grateful to have been a part of), I made sure to check my results carefully, and was happy to see again, that all was well, if not perfect! Picture of health actually, or so it was in my mind...until my naturopath called me on my cell while walking the dog. Lo and behold, there was one result that I didn't know about since it wasn't included in the online results...why? who knows...these systems are not perfect. He was referring to the serum Free Light Chain (FLC) reading. He was concerned about my result, in that it wasn't normal, and looking back, was on an incline. He admitted to not being a Multiple Myeloma expert by any means, and I know there are few and far between in the cancer world, at least in BC. There are a gazillion intricacies and mysteries to Myeloma (so I keep hearing) = MM is heterogeneous, there are still unexplainable aspects to each individual's situation, and everyone's body reacts differently. He clearly wanted me to consult with my oncologist to see what he had to say. I appreciate his due diligence, and honesty, and it's nice to know there is someone out there looking out for me in this kind of detail.
Unfortunately it was to be a few days until I heard back from my oncologist, who kindly called me and was immediately reassuring. I am happy to say I had the conversation that I was hoping for. I should have trusted my instincts, and my body, but it's natural to feel concerned when a medical practitioner is also concerned!
Here's the deal:
Yes, the FLC reading is up, but in the 80s, not that high considering he sees high readings in the tens of thousands. What I appreciate about this oncologist, is his emphasis on looking at the whole picture :
- how i'm feeling = Great, better than ever
- M protein levels = undetectable!
- blood calcium levels = normal
- anemia? = not even close
- kidney and liver function = perfect
- pain level = none
"there are no significant signs of disease progression."
So I'm putting myself back in the super star realm, and breathing...deeply.
Then, what of this elevated reading? No one knows. I'm to repeat the test soon, as usual, and make an appointment to see him in Kamloops. Despite his lack of concern, he of course offered chemo, the stem cell transplant, or continue along as is and keep a close eye on things. Guess which path I am choosing. (The latter in case it's not clear).
As for the next step, I have made an appointment already to interview another naturopath who is more experienced with MM. There is one in Vancouver, so who knows, I may end up there afterall to get IV treatments, instead of Fort Langley. I have a ton of support there, so this might end up being as it should be. Doesn't it usually anyway?
Either way, I'll be doing this course of treatment in the near future, but for now, am settling back into home and herb life, making a ton of products and medicines, filling orders, restocking a local store, cleaning house, and looking forward to the spring while enjoying the serenity of winter.
Meanwhile, my donation goal has been reached and then some and I am filled, if not oozing, with Gratitude. "Thank You" seems inadequate, paltry, not enough to convey my feelings. Words can't be enough any way I write them, but Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul will have to do for now. I also know that following my heart is also a way of thanking you all, for your support, whether it be your healing, loving thoughts, or monetary gifts, or both (and the hand written letters = wow! love them!!). Please know that I operate by paying it forward too; I love to help my friends and family when I can, it's one of my things...so go ahead and ask for help, I just might be able to!
and on we go, forward!
Thank you again also for your many messages and emails asking me how I am feeling, doing, what's up, what are the numbers, etc. I know I am being quite pathetic at keeping you up to date, causing concern and wonder. I hope that you can beat back any stress you might feel if your mind wanders into the "what if?" realm when you don't know what's going on, in any circumstance. Practicing the Don't Know Mind is always a good thing, hard as it is, and I am no expert, just a student. There is so much we don't know, and so much we project, fear, and assume. I can try to be better at keeping in touch. I know all of your concerns are based in love and caring for me and my family, and for that love, I am truly blessed...as long as your concerns don't also cause you stress and harm. The repercussions of stress on the body is under researched and under valued, though we are learning that there are real consequences to stress and worry. Take care of your selves, try to stay in the present, cliche as it is. Life is full of cliches, so be it.
much love,
gillian
PS: if you want to post a comment here, please go ahead but be forewarned, many people have emailed me to say they've written this long and fabulous comment only to see it disappear! So, copy it before posting, and paste it in an email if you lose it. Or, just email, write or call.
